Yesterday morning I started writing about what a funk I was in, how I have nothing to write about, I'm feeling down, I miss how I used to be able to laugh and make jokes and transfer that humor into my posts here. But then all of a sudden things looked better. Not great, but not so bad. It was really bizarre, and I have no idea what caused it or if it will last. I've a feeling that it wont last because nothing good ever does, but for now I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying that I enjoy hanging out with SGT T during what little free time he has each night (tonight for example, we shared a whopping hour and 40 minutes before he surrendered to the luxury of bed), that I look forward to conversing with friends or family instead of hoping nobody calls so I don't have to put on a smile (because good hell sometimes , well a lot of times, you just don't want to smile, dammit).
Yesterday I spent about 6 hours job searching for jobs both here and in Oregon. I found one here that I applied for, but I'm not holding my breath. After spending so much time focused on the job search yesterday I wasn't too concerned with doing much job searching today. But during my morning coffee/computer time I ran out of blogs to read and so, on a whim, checked one of the websites I regularly check and low and behold! A job! In Oregon! And not just any job, mind you! No no, this job is the supervisor of a position I once held, one that I am now more than qualified to fill (based on my student loan bills)! I've applied for several other positions through this website and have had no luck and I'm pretty sure it is because I am not wording things in the best way for the automated scanner system to pick me as a qualified candidate. But whatever. My fingers are crossed and I'm leaving it at that.
Oh except I don't want to leave it at that! It would be so perfect! I'd be able to work at a place I really enjoyed working at. With people I enjoyed working with! I'd be able to take classes still! After 12 months of unemployment, 6 of which have been spent daily searching for jobs, I'm becoming a bit worried. Like I told SGT T last night, I don't want to be a housewife by default. I'd have to take a job at 7-11 or something equally as unappealing, the entire paycheck of such a job would go to student loan payments. And that, my friends, is no way to live!
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2 comments:
And you talked to me most of the day, of course it was a great day!
Oh my gosh. A housewife by default is a horrible notion. I thought about that today as I realized there are some chores only I have done in the 3 years we've lived here. I hope all the things we've been waiting for in the last year come true soon for us!
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