Me: Part of my belly button is a permanent outtie now
Dad: You are starting to look pregnant . . .
Me: Starting?!
Dad: Yeah. You are starting to look pregnant instead of just chubby.
Me: I think we best just change the subject.
Showing posts with label it's not an overreaction if you are growing a baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label it's not an overreaction if you are growing a baby. Show all posts
June 5, 2009
May 12, 2009
bits of Tid
"Now, your baby is going to want to climb out through your tummy, but it's actually going to have to come out your peepee." - Mary, age 5
"Aunt [SPS], I want to say bye to your baby," says my nephew. I maneuver/aim the basketball I have swallowed at his mouth. "Bye bye, Chili!" - Kolby, age 7
Mary: Your tummy is just fat because you have a baby in it.
Me: IT'S NOT FAT IT'S ROUND!! (and then she mysteriously tripped).
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My sister and her husband celebrated their wedding anniversary this weekend by spending an entire weekend at the coast without their children. If you didn't gather, the children spent the entire weekend with us. It was great for my ego. I seriously can't tell you how many times Mary told me my tummy is fat due to the baby. FAT. That tripping part, I'm not telling if I'm kidding or not. Is it wrong to hold a grudge against a 5 year old? I think not.
I have a pinched nerve somewhere in my shoulder blade region. It might be caused by the fat. Which is only there because of the baby. Really. Regardless, I think it's going to kill me.
--------------------
The other day I had to have an earring removed via wire cutters. I've been too afraid to put earrings with backs back in my ears since then. Not sure why, but the back just wouldn't come off of this one pair of earrings. When my mom tried pulling the back off it turns out she was actually pulling the entire earring through my ear. The wrong way. I only realized something was wrong when I asked where the epidural was for this? And then I declared that I changed my mind about wanting a baby.
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I wonder if I'll ever talk about anything other than having a baby again. I hope so, I bore myself so I can't imagine what you, my two readers, must endure when you see that I've updated. I imagine a glass, nay, an entire bottle of whiskey placed by the computer within arms reach. The quiet inward focus, almost zen-like, that you strive for before opening up the page. I'm sorry.
--------------------
Oh, hey! I'm back from my road trip! A couple weeks ago I flew to NC to get my car out of storage. Turns out it's cheaper to drive across the country, flights and hotels included, than it is to buy a car you can trust. Go figure. Among the highlights of the drive were losing a library book somewhere in the southern states between Georgia and New Mexico, and seeing the "largest cross in the western hemisphere" in Texas. I'm not sure which was more moving of an experience.
I did get to see a couple more states that I hadn't been to yet, including Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. We may, or may not, have done some Bill Clinton stalking. I'll never tell.
"Aunt [SPS], I want to say bye to your baby," says my nephew. I maneuver/aim the basketball I have swallowed at his mouth. "Bye bye, Chili!" - Kolby, age 7
Mary: Your tummy is just fat because you have a baby in it.
Me: IT'S NOT FAT IT'S ROUND!! (and then she mysteriously tripped).
-------------------
My sister and her husband celebrated their wedding anniversary this weekend by spending an entire weekend at the coast without their children. If you didn't gather, the children spent the entire weekend with us. It was great for my ego. I seriously can't tell you how many times Mary told me my tummy is fat due to the baby. FAT. That tripping part, I'm not telling if I'm kidding or not. Is it wrong to hold a grudge against a 5 year old? I think not.
I have a pinched nerve somewhere in my shoulder blade region. It might be caused by the fat. Which is only there because of the baby. Really. Regardless, I think it's going to kill me.
--------------------
The other day I had to have an earring removed via wire cutters. I've been too afraid to put earrings with backs back in my ears since then. Not sure why, but the back just wouldn't come off of this one pair of earrings. When my mom tried pulling the back off it turns out she was actually pulling the entire earring through my ear. The wrong way. I only realized something was wrong when I asked where the epidural was for this? And then I declared that I changed my mind about wanting a baby.
--------------------
I wonder if I'll ever talk about anything other than having a baby again. I hope so, I bore myself so I can't imagine what you, my two readers, must endure when you see that I've updated. I imagine a glass, nay, an entire bottle of whiskey placed by the computer within arms reach. The quiet inward focus, almost zen-like, that you strive for before opening up the page. I'm sorry.
--------------------
Oh, hey! I'm back from my road trip! A couple weeks ago I flew to NC to get my car out of storage. Turns out it's cheaper to drive across the country, flights and hotels included, than it is to buy a car you can trust. Go figure. Among the highlights of the drive were losing a library book somewhere in the southern states between Georgia and New Mexico, and seeing the "largest cross in the western hemisphere" in Texas. I'm not sure which was more moving of an experience.
I did get to see a couple more states that I hadn't been to yet, including Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. We may, or may not, have done some Bill Clinton stalking. I'll never tell.
April 22, 2009
You. Change your mind. Like a girl. Changes clothes.
Like a teenage girl: I love you, no I hate you, no I love you, no I never want to see you again!
I had a rough patch over the last month or two, dealing with all kinds of crap, and this week it all kind of culminated and I took it out on my blog, thinking that by getting rid of the blog that would somehow make things less shitty. I know, not much to say to that unless you know the back story, but out of respect for something I used to hold dear (whether it deserves that respect - I withhold my thoughts on the matter) I wont be going into that here. Regardless, I reacted on emotion without waiting for rational thought to return and said goodbye. Will you have me back? Well, I'm back whether you'll have me or not. When rational thought returned it said "Fuck that. This is MINE and if YOU don't like it, or me and what I'm talking about, that's your problem so quit looking". Getting rid of this blog and starting a new one, for what? Out of respect of a friendship that is no more? So I don't hurt your feelings by writing about something that has nothing, NOTHING, to do with you? What kind of logic is that?
It's not.
So here I am, back and rip roarin' ready to write about stuff. We've got baby pictures, belly pictures, gender information, and maybe some general rambling, though I've found that with unemployment and a dwindling number of friends, my thoughts pretty much focus on the incredible increasing size of my stomach and the sad decreasing frequency of my bowel movements. I'll admit, though, that I can't complain about being a bit backed up (unless it becomes worse or a regular occurrence) since I've generally felt an incredible lack of any of the other negative symptoms of pregnancy. Still, not very exciting if I'm looking for blog fodder, so we'll just see how far I get with non-baby related posts. So, for now, let's all just cross our fingers and send some good strong "you can work" vibes to the satellite SGT T needs for internet access so that I can come back here and share it with you!
I had a rough patch over the last month or two, dealing with all kinds of crap, and this week it all kind of culminated and I took it out on my blog, thinking that by getting rid of the blog that would somehow make things less shitty. I know, not much to say to that unless you know the back story, but out of respect for something I used to hold dear (whether it deserves that respect - I withhold my thoughts on the matter) I wont be going into that here. Regardless, I reacted on emotion without waiting for rational thought to return and said goodbye. Will you have me back? Well, I'm back whether you'll have me or not. When rational thought returned it said "Fuck that. This is MINE and if YOU don't like it, or me and what I'm talking about, that's your problem so quit looking". Getting rid of this blog and starting a new one, for what? Out of respect of a friendship that is no more? So I don't hurt your feelings by writing about something that has nothing, NOTHING, to do with you? What kind of logic is that?
It's not.
So here I am, back and rip roarin' ready to write about stuff. We've got baby pictures, belly pictures, gender information, and maybe some general rambling, though I've found that with unemployment and a dwindling number of friends, my thoughts pretty much focus on the incredible increasing size of my stomach and the sad decreasing frequency of my bowel movements. I'll admit, though, that I can't complain about being a bit backed up (unless it becomes worse or a regular occurrence) since I've generally felt an incredible lack of any of the other negative symptoms of pregnancy. Still, not very exciting if I'm looking for blog fodder, so we'll just see how far I get with non-baby related posts. So, for now, let's all just cross our fingers and send some good strong "you can work" vibes to the satellite SGT T needs for internet access so that I can come back here and share it with you!
April 13, 2009
Top 10 things you don't do to a pregnant woman
1. Steal her food.
There's no need to continue with the list, that is all that is on it.
Yesterday I met a friend for lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant in town and I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to the leftovers for lunch today. OK, I'll try: I was looking forward to them A LOT. Needless to say, this living at the folks' house with my 20 year old brother has thrown a, how do you say, damper on my leftover plans. Due to the sensitive nature of my dear reader's ears, I will not repeat the profanities that flew out of my mouth (and at the top of my voice) when I opened my container to find about three noodles and an eggroll left in what was once an overstuffed box of Orange Tempeh, Lo Mein and rice just waiting to be savored by these watering tastebuds.
Sigh. I nearly cried.
There's no need to continue with the list, that is all that is on it.
Yesterday I met a friend for lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant in town and I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to the leftovers for lunch today. OK, I'll try: I was looking forward to them A LOT. Needless to say, this living at the folks' house with my 20 year old brother has thrown a, how do you say, damper on my leftover plans. Due to the sensitive nature of my dear reader's ears, I will not repeat the profanities that flew out of my mouth (and at the top of my voice) when I opened my container to find about three noodles and an eggroll left in what was once an overstuffed box of Orange Tempeh, Lo Mein and rice just waiting to be savored by these watering tastebuds.
Sigh. I nearly cried.
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