bits of Tid

"Now, your baby is going to want to climb out through your tummy, but it's actually going to have to come out your peepee." - Mary, age 5

"Aunt [SPS], I want to say bye to your baby," says my nephew. I maneuver/aim the basketball I have swallowed at his mouth. "Bye bye, Chili!" - Kolby, age 7

Mary: Your tummy is just fat because you have a baby in it.
Me: IT'S NOT FAT IT'S ROUND!! (and then she mysteriously tripped).

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My sister and her husband celebrated their wedding anniversary this weekend by spending an entire weekend at the coast without their children. If you didn't gather, the children spent the entire weekend with us. It was great for my ego. I seriously can't tell you how many times Mary told me my tummy is fat due to the baby. FAT. That tripping part, I'm not telling if I'm kidding or not. Is it wrong to hold a grudge against a 5 year old? I think not.

I have a pinched nerve somewhere in my shoulder blade region. It might be caused by the fat. Which is only there because of the baby. Really. Regardless, I think it's going to kill me.

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The other day I had to have an earring removed via wire cutters. I've been too afraid to put earrings with backs back in my ears since then. Not sure why, but the back just wouldn't come off of this one pair of earrings. When my mom tried pulling the back off it turns out she was actually pulling the entire earring through my ear. The wrong way. I only realized something was wrong when I asked where the epidural was for this? And then I declared that I changed my mind about wanting a baby.

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I wonder if I'll ever talk about anything other than having a baby again. I hope so, I bore myself so I can't imagine what you, my two readers, must endure when you see that I've updated. I imagine a glass, nay, an entire bottle of whiskey placed by the computer within arms reach. The quiet inward focus, almost zen-like, that you strive for before opening up the page. I'm sorry.

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Oh, hey! I'm back from my road trip! A couple weeks ago I flew to NC to get my car out of storage. Turns out it's cheaper to drive across the country, flights and hotels included, than it is to buy a car you can trust. Go figure. Among the highlights of the drive were losing a library book somewhere in the southern states between Georgia and New Mexico, and seeing the "largest cross in the western hemisphere" in Texas. I'm not sure which was more moving of an experience.

I did get to see a couple more states that I hadn't been to yet, including Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. We may, or may not, have done some Bill Clinton stalking. I'll never tell.