May 29, 2009


One of my best friends has recently turned against me. I'm not sure why it's happened, I think it could have to do with the pregnancy, which is a sad reason to no longer be a supportive, comforting presence in my life.

I think last night was when this truth finally dawned on me, in a rather ugly coalescence of events precipitated by the arrival of over 80 degree weather. Let me explain. I have had a long and fulfilling relationship with ice cream, it has always been there for me, even when we went months without speaking. In grad school, ice cream and I encountered each other daily with no ill effects. Well, aside from the increased thigh circumference but I can't blame that entirely on my bff, now can I? Over the last few months I've had to turn my back on ice cream more and more, due to my increasing fear that at the rate my thighs were growing I would have to spend the next three months of summer bed ridden in a moomoo bought at Ross from the Women's section. Have you seen these "dresses"? *shudder*. This has been more challenging, this turning my back on a good friend, than I ever would have thought, in part due to my dad's people pleasing grocery trips that bring back multiple gallons of ice cream at a time. My will power is nothing when the creamy temptress is in residence.

The last couple of days have found the temperature above 80 degrees and while that isn't exactly sweltering, it is quite uncomfortable when you consider my "delicate condition". Last night was, to say the least, miserable. First, my close friend and confidant made it known that we would know each other no more, mainly with an aroma emanating from my body that disgusted even myself from whom it came. Second, the air in the house refused to circulate, not helped along at all by the fact that I could not open the windows due to a) that bad habit my brother has that I so recently kicked, and b) the fact that the cats enjoy nothing more than to hang from the screens when the windows are left open. Finally, knowing that I was exhausted and that sleep refused to come to me, regardless of the fact that I had to get up "early" in the morning. And so I spent three hours tossing and turning, getting up to pee every 20 minutes, roasting in my sauna of a room seasoned by that nasty reminder that we would be friends no more, before finally drifting off.

My dear friend, my chocolate and peanut butter mint chocolate chip strawberry lova', I wish you could have told me in a less harsh and uncomfortable manner that we were through. Alas, I will miss you and I promise, this will not be the end of our affair. I will attempt to reconnect, to stir up this old flame, maybe in a few months, but it could be at least a year. In the meantime, I'm going to go hit up your trashy step-brother - Soy Dream, here I come!

Updated: It appears that my other good friend, Cheese, has turned it's back on me as well. The entire Dairy family? Why, oh why? The misery, I tell you.

1 comment:

mvanapp said...

Nooo! How awful! Don't panic, I'll help. I can offer my services as official ice cream eater and chief dairy product ingester until you and your bff make amends. Because I'm generous like that... Miss you!!