It's only fair

I hope I'm not overdoing it here, two posts in one day. It's just that, when I was writing the first one, SGT T called, finally. So now he knows before you which is really all I wanted. Mwa ha ha ha, I know. And so, without further ado . . .

Coming soon, to a town near you

Still no word from SGT T which means no baby news for you. So sorry! This is definitely the longest we've gone without talking since he's been deployed, if not ever, so it's kind of a drag. Especially since I only know so much about what has been happening at his FOB this week (read: I know NOTHING) and because I have such exciting news to share with him and I can't believe I have to hold it in this long! Alas, it is only fair, wouldn't you say? See, I can keep "secrets". Ha!

Moving on. Today I head up to Portland to stay the night because I've got a butt ass early flight tomorrow to go to NC. Why am I going to NC, you ask? Finally, FINALLY I'm getting a car! Any car. MY car! After spending the last couple of months looking and judging and researching what you can get for under $2000 that you would be willing to drive your newborn kid around in, the decision was reached that it is more affordable for me to just go back to NC and get my car from storage. I know the car, I know what is wrong with it and I trust it to get us around safely. Plus, that way we'll only have one car to try to sell next year when SGT T gets home and we move to Germany.

Gasp! Did she just say MOVE TO GERMANY?! Why yes, yes I did. A couple of weeks ago SGT T signed his reenlistment papers for four more years (yuck) with choice of duty station: Germany (hooray!). Oh well, will you look at that, another secret I've kept. (Excuse me, I appear to be feeling a little bitter today, deep breath, deep breath, OK, again, moving on). So how awesome is that? Very, very awesome.

So, anyways, la la la, I'm going to NC tomorrow with my mom where we'll get my car out of storage then drive across the country. We're going to take the "southern" route, going through Atlanta, Memphis, Little Rock, Amarillo, Albuquerque. We're hoping to stop for a little extra time in Albuquerque or maybe Santa Fe, and then we'll go up to Utah. Mom will fly home from SLC and I'll get to chill with old Utah friends, including the ever-expanding Lisa (and Josh, though he's losing body parts, not gaining them) of Snow Piddle fame. Lisa, whom I am lucky enough to get to share this experience with, simultaneously, as she is due just two days before me. So, looking forward to the drive and getting my own car back, as well as seeing friends again! I'll hopefully be able to update as I'm taking the dinosaur, er, I mean laptop, with me and internet is almost always a given these days. But no promises!

You. Change your mind. Like a girl. Changes clothes.

Like a teenage girl: I love you, no I hate you, no I love you, no I never want to see you again!

I had a rough patch over the last month or two, dealing with all kinds of crap, and this week it all kind of culminated and I took it out on my blog, thinking that by getting rid of the blog that would somehow make things less shitty. I know, not much to say to that unless you know the back story, but out of respect for something I used to hold dear (whether it deserves that respect - I withhold my thoughts on the matter) I wont be going into that here. Regardless, I reacted on emotion without waiting for rational thought to return and said goodbye. Will you have me back? Well, I'm back whether you'll have me or not. When rational thought returned it said "Fuck that. This is MINE and if YOU don't like it, or me and what I'm talking about, that's your problem so quit looking". Getting rid of this blog and starting a new one, for what? Out of respect of a friendship that is no more? So I don't hurt your feelings by writing about something that has nothing, NOTHING, to do with you? What kind of logic is that?

It's not.

So here I am, back and rip roarin' ready to write about stuff. We've got baby pictures, belly pictures, gender information, and maybe some general rambling, though I've found that with unemployment and a dwindling number of friends, my thoughts pretty much focus on the incredible increasing size of my stomach and the sad decreasing frequency of my bowel movements. I'll admit, though, that I can't complain about being a bit backed up (unless it becomes worse or a regular occurrence) since I've generally felt an incredible lack of any of the other negative symptoms of pregnancy. Still, not very exciting if I'm looking for blog fodder, so we'll just see how far I get with non-baby related posts. So, for now, let's all just cross our fingers and send some good strong "you can work" vibes to the satellite SGT T needs for internet access so that I can come back here and share it with you!

Adios

I'm shutting it down. Moving on. Maybe I'll start up somewhere else, anonymously, maybe not. I'm sick of it, watching what I write because of who reads, making sure I don't write anything that needs to be told to certain people in person first, just censoring in general and stressing specifically.

Top 10 things you don't do to a pregnant woman

1. Steal her food.

There's no need to continue with the list, that is all that is on it.

Yesterday I met a friend for lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant in town and I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to the leftovers for lunch today. OK, I'll try: I was looking forward to them A LOT. Needless to say, this living at the folks' house with my 20 year old brother has thrown a, how do you say, damper on my leftover plans. Due to the sensitive nature of my dear reader's ears, I will not repeat the profanities that flew out of my mouth (and at the top of my voice) when I opened my container to find about three noodles and an eggroll left in what was once an overstuffed box of Orange Tempeh, Lo Mein and rice just waiting to be savored by these watering tastebuds.

Sigh. I nearly cried.

Bring your gloves, it's cold in here

Last week my co-pregnancy friend asked me if I was getting weepy at the slightest thing, and at the time, I wasn't really. My my, what a difference a few days can make. It started on Monday at the gym, I was on the treadmill and first I saw an older gentleman who appeared to have been in the military at some point because he had the haircut, and he was wearing the khaki colored shirt that I associate with the uniform. Whatever the reason, I saw him, and the tears instantly burst forth, my chin did that scrunchy quiver thing (I am not a dainty crier, that much is for sure), and I had to close my eyes and think of rainbows and puppies. Then I glanced up at the TV that was set on CNN and it was all over. It was the day that the California family murder/suicide shooting happened, the day that the nursing home shooting happened, and then, come to find out, it was the day that the 23 year old kid killed two of his sisters, beheading his 5 year old sister in front of the police, leaving only one sister to survive. And let's not forget the man in Columbia who has been raping his daughter since she was 5 years old, producing something like 8 children with her, and claiming that they can't accuse him of incest because she isn't his biological daughter. Time to go home, wouldn't you say? And now, it happens all the time, regardless of how happy or depressing the show I'm watching is. Teary eyes, they peek out until I can squelch them down with my steely, dead soul. I'm surprised it isn't worse, what with various circumstances I've got going on in my life, but perhaps I speak to soon and the worst is yet to come. Well, I have no doubt that the worst is yet to come, on all fronts, but still. I guess it is good for now that these hormones don't have the appropriate winter weather wear to trudge through my cold, desolate heart to make me an even worse blubbering mess!

Big news in evil town

Last August or September, I went off the pill. The only person that knew was SGT T, and contrary to what you all believe about me, I was able to keep that secret from everybody (mwa ha ha ha). I did end up telling one friend who was going through her own struggles with fertilization, but I sort of knew I'd be telling her anyways. We weren't really trying to get pregnant, I wasn't using any ovulation kit test and then jumping on SGT T the second it said I was ovulating, but we kinda thought if it happens, great, if not, no sweat. Besides, we're getting OLD, and the pressure from my gramma was just too much. Just kidding, gramma, I could have ignored your pressure if it weren't for the age factor! I did mark on my calendar when we had sex and when my potential ovulation window was, and I'll tell you, until December, there was no chance I was getting knocked up!

I think I had been relying on discernible results from the test for Christmas morning, but instead my parents probably got nothing from us (because I'm all kinds of awesome in the gift giving department). A couple of days after Christmas I started feeling kinda crampy and crabby and PMSy in general, and if you know much about the timing of pregnancy and stuff, your period pretty much is due about when you may start showing early signs of pregnancy such as crampy and crabbiness, which, surprise! That's what your period is like! I bought a couple of tests when we were back in NC, with the intention of waiting until the following morning to take one because the instructions say best results are your first pee, but duh, I just couldn't wait. And boy the speed with which that stick yelled at me that I was pregnant was insane! I called to SGT T to come in the bathroom and check something out (with more than a little bit of panic in my voice), turns out he thought it was a spider or some nasty NC bug I wanted to show him. Needless to say, it was a wee bit scarier than a bug!

That was New Years Eve, 2008. The timing was great! I texted my friend who had found out she was pregnant the day before and told her my "HOLY SHIT" news and she told me to take the second test right then. So I did. It was all "Duh, dude, you are so freakin' pregnant". Then I called my parents and asked if they had gotten Skype on Dad's fancy new laptop yet and asked them to get it downloaded because I wanted to video chat with them later. After a lot of confusion and hullabaloo they got it figured out and we got settled on the webcams, and I told them I was emailing them something that I wanted them to open together, "It's your late Christmas present" I told them. SGT T and I waited patiently while they opened it and this is what they saw:



It was beyond priceless to see their reactions. I'm pretty sure that because of our back and forth about wanting kids for the past two years, and with the impending deployment, they had figured it wasn't in our immediate future and so it was just not on their minds as something to be thinking of, so the shock of it, especially for Mom, was pretty big. Oh ho ho, boy it makes me laugh when I think of her face! My sister was a fun one, too. I texted her and was all "Whatcha doing?" (you know, cause it was New Years and all), and she was all "Nothin' much, how bout you?" and I said "Not much, just told Mom and Dad that I'm pregnant". And really, I'm surprised how long it took for her to call me, it had to be at least two minutes before my phone rang. And that, my friends, is how my parents found out I'm pregnant. Thank goodness I am too far along to tell them today, on April Fool's Day, because man that would confuse the hell out of them, but oh the fun I would have had!