One of my best friends has recently turned against me. I'm not sure why it's happened, I think it could have to do with the pregnancy, which is a sad reason to no longer be a supportive, comforting presence in my life.
I think last night was when this truth finally dawned on me, in a rather ugly coalescence of events precipitated by the arrival of over 80 degree weather. Let me explain. I have had a long and fulfilling relationship with ice cream, it has always been there for me, even when we went months without speaking. In grad school, ice cream and I encountered each other daily with no ill effects. Well, aside from the increased thigh circumference but I can't blame that entirely on my bff, now can I? Over the last few months I've had to turn my back on ice cream more and more, due to my increasing fear that at the rate my thighs were growing I would have to spend the next three months of summer bed ridden in a moomoo bought at Ross from the Women's section. Have you seen these "dresses"? *shudder*. This has been more challenging, this turning my back on a good friend, than I ever would have thought, in part due to my dad's people pleasing grocery trips that bring back multiple gallons of ice cream at a time. My will power is nothing when the creamy temptress is in residence.
The last couple of days have found the temperature above 80 degrees and while that isn't exactly sweltering, it is quite uncomfortable when you consider my "delicate condition". Last night was, to say the least, miserable. First, my close friend and confidant made it known that we would know each other no more, mainly with an aroma emanating from my body that disgusted even myself from whom it came. Second, the air in the house refused to circulate, not helped along at all by the fact that I could not open the windows due to a) that bad habit my brother has that I so recently kicked, and b) the fact that the cats enjoy nothing more than to hang from the screens when the windows are left open. Finally, knowing that I was exhausted and that sleep refused to come to me, regardless of the fact that I had to get up "early" in the morning. And so I spent three hours tossing and turning, getting up to pee every 20 minutes, roasting in my sauna of a room seasoned by that nasty reminder that we would be friends no more, before finally drifting off.
My dear friend, my chocolate and peanut butter mint chocolate chip strawberry lova', I wish you could have told me in a less harsh and uncomfortable manner that we were through. Alas, I will miss you and I promise, this will not be the end of our affair. I will attempt to reconnect, to stir up this old flame, maybe in a few months, but it could be at least a year. In the meantime, I'm going to go hit up your trashy step-brother - Soy Dream, here I come!
Updated: It appears that my other good friend, Cheese, has turned it's back on me as well. The entire Dairy family? Why, oh why? The misery, I tell you.
May 29, 2009
May 27, 2009
When I'm not on the internet . . .
Some of you may know that I'm an avid reader. Mostly I read brain candy, but occasionally I'll read something deeper and more meaningful. I'm not really sure where The Stand fits in there, but it's what I'm reading right now. For like the 6th time.
In high school, perhaps sophomore or junior year, I had a teacher for Sociology (Mr. G - whom I had my first awkward and bizarre, ahem, sex dream about (awkward and bizarre because, late bloomer that I was, I probably didn't even know what a penis does and yet here is my 50+ year old Soc teacher with his pants down in my dream - like I said, awkward)) who told us about one of his favorite books, The Stand by Stephen King. I had never read any Stephen King but being the impressionable young girl I was, who apparently had an inappropriate crush on her teacher, I went out and read it. And I haven't looked back since.
I've never had a favorite song, band, color, or food but if pressed, I would say that The Stand is my favorite book. Followed pretty closely by The Dark Tower series, also by Stephen King. I'm not sure what it is about these books that I love, but love them I do. I know I enjoy how complicated the stories are, how developed the characters are and how you come to hate or love certain people in the books all over again each time you meet them, how each time I read one of them I find something new to get excited about or scared about, or even something old that takes on a new meaning to me at that particular place in my life. I suppose most books can have that sort of impact on you, but for me these are the only books I've read so many times (with the exception of that wizard with the broken glasses).
Do other people read the same book multiple times? I know that most people who are voracious readers, those who read for FUN, do. What are your "go to" books?
In high school, perhaps sophomore or junior year, I had a teacher for Sociology (Mr. G - whom I had my first awkward and bizarre, ahem, sex dream about (awkward and bizarre because, late bloomer that I was, I probably didn't even know what a penis does and yet here is my 50+ year old Soc teacher with his pants down in my dream - like I said, awkward)) who told us about one of his favorite books, The Stand by Stephen King. I had never read any Stephen King but being the impressionable young girl I was, who apparently had an inappropriate crush on her teacher, I went out and read it. And I haven't looked back since.
I've never had a favorite song, band, color, or food but if pressed, I would say that The Stand is my favorite book. Followed pretty closely by The Dark Tower series, also by Stephen King. I'm not sure what it is about these books that I love, but love them I do. I know I enjoy how complicated the stories are, how developed the characters are and how you come to hate or love certain people in the books all over again each time you meet them, how each time I read one of them I find something new to get excited about or scared about, or even something old that takes on a new meaning to me at that particular place in my life. I suppose most books can have that sort of impact on you, but for me these are the only books I've read so many times (with the exception of that wizard with the broken glasses).
Do other people read the same book multiple times? I know that most people who are voracious readers, those who read for FUN, do. What are your "go to" books?
May 25, 2009
Just one of the things wrong with this picture
Are those vertical fat rolls coming out of the back of my shirt? Oh lordy.
May 23, 2009
Mama wanted cake
. . . and will use any excuse she can to get it.
I was craving cake today and was wracking my poor, sugar deprived brain for a reason to go ahead and make one. That is when I realized that my cats are a year old this month, and what cat doesn't want to celebrate turning 1 with a cake? Especially one that is home made and really ugly?!
No cat, that's who!
Recipe for cake and frosting are from the back of the Pillsbury Cake Flour box. Cake is just a regular white cake I think, with raspberry jam. Frosting is "supposed" to be Buttercream frosting.
Lesson learned: Don't use fake butter for frosting. It melts at a much lower temperature and you wont be able to spread the frosting on your cake without climbing into your freezer. As fun as this sounds, it is not. Do you see how on the right side of the cake there is what looks like elephantitis of the cake? That's the melting frosting issue. Not pretty.
I'll try again next month when we celebrate "Left Korea 1 year ago" day!
Do you feel sorry for my unborn children yet? I do!
I was craving cake today and was wracking my poor, sugar deprived brain for a reason to go ahead and make one. That is when I realized that my cats are a year old this month, and what cat doesn't want to celebrate turning 1 with a cake? Especially one that is home made and really ugly?!
No cat, that's who!
Recipe for cake and frosting are from the back of the Pillsbury Cake Flour box. Cake is just a regular white cake I think, with raspberry jam. Frosting is "supposed" to be Buttercream frosting.
Lesson learned: Don't use fake butter for frosting. It melts at a much lower temperature and you wont be able to spread the frosting on your cake without climbing into your freezer. As fun as this sounds, it is not. Do you see how on the right side of the cake there is what looks like elephantitis of the cake? That's the melting frosting issue. Not pretty.
I'll try again next month when we celebrate "Left Korea 1 year ago" day!
Do you feel sorry for my unborn children yet? I do!
May 17, 2009
Almost perfect
Sunday's are great, aren't they? Even though I don't have a job and every day tends to be the same as the day before, something about Sunday conjures up the need to sleep in, stay in my pj's until noon, and just spend the day lounging around doing nothing important or necessary. This morning was one of those days - for some lucky reason when I semi-jokingly said "Who wants to go down to Starbucks and get me coffee?", my dad practically ran out the door to get it for me! Apparently he had to go to the grocery store next door anyways, but still, I felt pleasantly surprised and delightfully guilty-free (for the most part)!
I waited for the coffee before diving into the paper and checking out the ads. It was awesome and just felt right. It felt how Sunday morning should feel. After the paper and some We TV (about cakes, otherwise, down with We! but cakes, who can change the channel when we are dealing with life or death cake creations? certainly not I) I showered and headed to the next town over for some clearance rack shopping. And boy, I was met with some serious success. Such success that I may have spoiled my trip to the BIG city tomorrow. Enough success that I feel just a tiny guilty but not guilty enough to return a single item. Nope. SGT T and I are going to have the cutest dressed little girl, and I tell you, so far the first year of her life is costing on average around $3.00 per outfit. The guilt comes from the fact that I bought myself some stuff too, but even that was averaging around $7.00 per item! Sweet deals, I tell you!
Top the evening off with a BBQ and a friend stopping by, and who could ask for a better Sunday?! Oh, you're right, some mint chocolate chip would make it perfect, wouldn't it? Dang, so close!
I waited for the coffee before diving into the paper and checking out the ads. It was awesome and just felt right. It felt how Sunday morning should feel. After the paper and some We TV (about cakes, otherwise, down with We! but cakes, who can change the channel when we are dealing with life or death cake creations? certainly not I) I showered and headed to the next town over for some clearance rack shopping. And boy, I was met with some serious success. Such success that I may have spoiled my trip to the BIG city tomorrow. Enough success that I feel just a tiny guilty but not guilty enough to return a single item. Nope. SGT T and I are going to have the cutest dressed little girl, and I tell you, so far the first year of her life is costing on average around $3.00 per outfit. The guilt comes from the fact that I bought myself some stuff too, but even that was averaging around $7.00 per item! Sweet deals, I tell you!
Top the evening off with a BBQ and a friend stopping by, and who could ask for a better Sunday?! Oh, you're right, some mint chocolate chip would make it perfect, wouldn't it? Dang, so close!
May 14, 2009
A belly in time
This post could alternately be titled "Boobs vs. Belly"; the harrowing tale of a girl whose body is out of her control, both boobs and belly competing to become larger than the other. It's not as fun as it sounds.
Since I didn't post these from the beginning, this will just be one post full of pictures of my increasingly voluptuous stomach. It may get boring, but for me it is kind of fun to look at the progression over time. I have noticed, however, that it appears as though I am sticking my stomach out in an attempt to make it look more pregnant, but I assure you, I am not. It took me a while to figure out why it looks this way, and I've determined that it is due to the way my back looks arched and makes it look like my ass sticks out. But I promise, this is just how badonkadonk I am. And you thought you had problems finding jeans that fit!
Oh, and I'm not going to include the before/early pregnancy picture of my tummy, so we'll just all imagine me with a nice flat stomach. Really, yep, 6-pack and all.
12w5d
14w1d
16w6d
18w4d
20w3d
22weeks
It looks like I'm due for another picture on Monday when I hit 24 weeks. The above pictures average around every 2 weeks, I think. Last time we tried a couple of pictures with my hands down because Mom thought maybe that's why the other pictures looked weird, and I tell you, because my back sways so much and my ass sticks out so much, it just looked awful. So, instead, I just look like I'm walking around sticking my belly out, while awkwardly holding my arms up in my armpits. I'm cool like that. Also, sorry some of those are ginormous, I know, it's unsettling seeing that weird smirk/smile on my face so up close and personal. Speaking of which, I don't know why I made that face. When I am making it, it just feels like a sort of half smile, you know, so I'm not scowling at the camera. But then I see it, and it looks like I'm all "Yeah, you know you like it" or something. Weird.
Since I didn't post these from the beginning, this will just be one post full of pictures of my increasingly voluptuous stomach. It may get boring, but for me it is kind of fun to look at the progression over time. I have noticed, however, that it appears as though I am sticking my stomach out in an attempt to make it look more pregnant, but I assure you, I am not. It took me a while to figure out why it looks this way, and I've determined that it is due to the way my back looks arched and makes it look like my ass sticks out. But I promise, this is just how badonkadonk I am. And you thought you had problems finding jeans that fit!
Oh, and I'm not going to include the before/early pregnancy picture of my tummy, so we'll just all imagine me with a nice flat stomach. Really, yep, 6-pack and all.
12w5d
14w1d
16w6d
18w4d
20w3d
22weeks
It looks like I'm due for another picture on Monday when I hit 24 weeks. The above pictures average around every 2 weeks, I think. Last time we tried a couple of pictures with my hands down because Mom thought maybe that's why the other pictures looked weird, and I tell you, because my back sways so much and my ass sticks out so much, it just looked awful. So, instead, I just look like I'm walking around sticking my belly out, while awkwardly holding my arms up in my armpits. I'm cool like that. Also, sorry some of those are ginormous, I know, it's unsettling seeing that weird smirk/smile on my face so up close and personal. Speaking of which, I don't know why I made that face. When I am making it, it just feels like a sort of half smile, you know, so I'm not scowling at the camera. But then I see it, and it looks like I'm all "Yeah, you know you like it" or something. Weird.
May 13, 2009
Aren't I too young for bunions?
I had a realization today.
Monday, the 11th, marked one year of not smoking for me.
I just gave myself the best pat on the back eva' because, obviously, I totally rock like that.
There are times where I miss it. Excruciatingly so. Even with baby on board. For example, the other day I stopped and got coffee on the way home from the gym and as I turned onto my street, I saw a couple of people sitting on the curb in the shade of their car lighting up. The urge was SO strong it made me sad. Most of the time though, I don't even think about it, which is a huge relief. The challenge will be when SGT T gets home. He's not going to like all the new smoking rules that will have to be implemented with Baby T around! He'll probably think it is me being sneaky and trying to make him quit. I would never be sneaky! Nope, never.
Anyways, I did it, and it's been a year and I am happy about it! The main reason I did it is because I really, really, wanted to be a jogger. That hasn't panned out too well, but not due to poor oxygen processing in my damaged lungs. If I'm able to get surgery relatively soon after the baby comes then I could possibly be jogging once again in a year or so, depending on recovery from having my feet worked on. Gross feet, anyways.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, the 11th, marked one year of not smoking for me.
I just gave myself the best pat on the back eva' because, obviously, I totally rock like that.
There are times where I miss it. Excruciatingly so. Even with baby on board. For example, the other day I stopped and got coffee on the way home from the gym and as I turned onto my street, I saw a couple of people sitting on the curb in the shade of their car lighting up. The urge was SO strong it made me sad. Most of the time though, I don't even think about it, which is a huge relief. The challenge will be when SGT T gets home. He's not going to like all the new smoking rules that will have to be implemented with Baby T around! He'll probably think it is me being sneaky and trying to make him quit. I would never be sneaky! Nope, never.
Anyways, I did it, and it's been a year and I am happy about it! The main reason I did it is because I really, really, wanted to be a jogger. That hasn't panned out too well, but not due to poor oxygen processing in my damaged lungs. If I'm able to get surgery relatively soon after the baby comes then I could possibly be jogging once again in a year or so, depending on recovery from having my feet worked on. Gross feet, anyways.
Have a great weekend!
May 12, 2009
bits of Tid
"Now, your baby is going to want to climb out through your tummy, but it's actually going to have to come out your peepee." - Mary, age 5
"Aunt [SPS], I want to say bye to your baby," says my nephew. I maneuver/aim the basketball I have swallowed at his mouth. "Bye bye, Chili!" - Kolby, age 7
Mary: Your tummy is just fat because you have a baby in it.
Me: IT'S NOT FAT IT'S ROUND!! (and then she mysteriously tripped).
-------------------
My sister and her husband celebrated their wedding anniversary this weekend by spending an entire weekend at the coast without their children. If you didn't gather, the children spent the entire weekend with us. It was great for my ego. I seriously can't tell you how many times Mary told me my tummy is fat due to the baby. FAT. That tripping part, I'm not telling if I'm kidding or not. Is it wrong to hold a grudge against a 5 year old? I think not.
I have a pinched nerve somewhere in my shoulder blade region. It might be caused by the fat. Which is only there because of the baby. Really. Regardless, I think it's going to kill me.
--------------------
The other day I had to have an earring removed via wire cutters. I've been too afraid to put earrings with backs back in my ears since then. Not sure why, but the back just wouldn't come off of this one pair of earrings. When my mom tried pulling the back off it turns out she was actually pulling the entire earring through my ear. The wrong way. I only realized something was wrong when I asked where the epidural was for this? And then I declared that I changed my mind about wanting a baby.
--------------------
I wonder if I'll ever talk about anything other than having a baby again. I hope so, I bore myself so I can't imagine what you, my two readers, must endure when you see that I've updated. I imagine a glass, nay, an entire bottle of whiskey placed by the computer within arms reach. The quiet inward focus, almost zen-like, that you strive for before opening up the page. I'm sorry.
--------------------
Oh, hey! I'm back from my road trip! A couple weeks ago I flew to NC to get my car out of storage. Turns out it's cheaper to drive across the country, flights and hotels included, than it is to buy a car you can trust. Go figure. Among the highlights of the drive were losing a library book somewhere in the southern states between Georgia and New Mexico, and seeing the "largest cross in the western hemisphere" in Texas. I'm not sure which was more moving of an experience.
I did get to see a couple more states that I hadn't been to yet, including Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. We may, or may not, have done some Bill Clinton stalking. I'll never tell.
"Aunt [SPS], I want to say bye to your baby," says my nephew. I maneuver/aim the basketball I have swallowed at his mouth. "Bye bye, Chili!" - Kolby, age 7
Mary: Your tummy is just fat because you have a baby in it.
Me: IT'S NOT FAT IT'S ROUND!! (and then she mysteriously tripped).
-------------------
My sister and her husband celebrated their wedding anniversary this weekend by spending an entire weekend at the coast without their children. If you didn't gather, the children spent the entire weekend with us. It was great for my ego. I seriously can't tell you how many times Mary told me my tummy is fat due to the baby. FAT. That tripping part, I'm not telling if I'm kidding or not. Is it wrong to hold a grudge against a 5 year old? I think not.
I have a pinched nerve somewhere in my shoulder blade region. It might be caused by the fat. Which is only there because of the baby. Really. Regardless, I think it's going to kill me.
--------------------
The other day I had to have an earring removed via wire cutters. I've been too afraid to put earrings with backs back in my ears since then. Not sure why, but the back just wouldn't come off of this one pair of earrings. When my mom tried pulling the back off it turns out she was actually pulling the entire earring through my ear. The wrong way. I only realized something was wrong when I asked where the epidural was for this? And then I declared that I changed my mind about wanting a baby.
--------------------
I wonder if I'll ever talk about anything other than having a baby again. I hope so, I bore myself so I can't imagine what you, my two readers, must endure when you see that I've updated. I imagine a glass, nay, an entire bottle of whiskey placed by the computer within arms reach. The quiet inward focus, almost zen-like, that you strive for before opening up the page. I'm sorry.
--------------------
Oh, hey! I'm back from my road trip! A couple weeks ago I flew to NC to get my car out of storage. Turns out it's cheaper to drive across the country, flights and hotels included, than it is to buy a car you can trust. Go figure. Among the highlights of the drive were losing a library book somewhere in the southern states between Georgia and New Mexico, and seeing the "largest cross in the western hemisphere" in Texas. I'm not sure which was more moving of an experience.
I did get to see a couple more states that I hadn't been to yet, including Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. We may, or may not, have done some Bill Clinton stalking. I'll never tell.
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